Chasing the sun

Our flight to Germany left around 11 pm EST and by the time we landed in Frankfurt, it was around 2 pm Germany time.  This meant the flight was overnight and I feared I'd have trouble sleeping.

I'm a nervous flyer and usually cannot sleep on planes, but I was determined to give it a try.  I did doze for about an hour, but that's about it.  I sat in the darkened cabin looking around at the other people all snoring away and sighed.

Eventually I was able to open the window shade and this piece of inspiration struck me:

As I write this it's 2.35 am EST.  We've been in the air since 11.35 pm and I figure we're flying over the Atlantic Ocean.  We have about four hours left before we land in Frankfurt and I've slept for maybe an hour since 7 am on 6/30.

The Air Transat fight has been good so far - we got a snack around 12 am and the "club class" seats are roomy, but not that comfy.  This is an older plane so I'm sure that has something to do with it. The neck pillow I have only makes my neck hurt, which is probably why I am awake now.

It's funny, I was attempting to sleep when my eyes snapped open to see the view outside my window.

Clouds and peace and the sense that the world goes on irrespective of what's going on with those silly humans.  Makes you feel like all the conflict and greed and so on aren't worth it in the grand scheme of things.

Word to the Universe

Its that time again folks, that time as Mike and I prepare to board a plane in a couple weeks and my anxiety is running wild.  Combine the recent Russian airplane tragedy and the proximity to Sept. 11 and I'm positively going mad.

Its all I can do to curl up into a ball and rock back and forth in a corner.

The other day, I made a pact with the Universe, it goes something like this:

I will remain mean and nasty and evil so that whole, 'only the good die young', phrase will not apply to me.  In addition, the Universe and I have decided that in light of all the good things that have come into my life of late, I'm going to keep on keepin' on so the Universe can continue to send me good things, like a little sable corgi puppy that I can visit on my birthday weekend in preparation of him/her coming to live with us.

I've taken a stand in my life this year and done things that I want to do and on my terms and all have yielded wonderful outcomes.  Therefore, this will continue and I will continue to do things on my terms, which means getting on a plane to participate in a once in a lifetime opportunity and that's how its going to be.

“Fear cuts deeper than swords.”- Syrio Forel.

...

Yes, I mentioned a sable corgi puppy only because Gimli's breeder, hopefully, has a litter on the way with a due date of Oct. 22nd.  The dam is a lovely sable and the sire is Gimli's non-fluff half brother.  We won't know til later if the pregnancy will yield any pups, but we are hopeful.

...

You get a corgi frap if you can tell me where that quote comes from.

I want to fly away

I don't know when it started, but it had to have been when I was a child.  My guess is around the Lockerbie, Scotland tragedy.

I had been on plenty of flights before then and I experienced no troubles whatsoever.  After that tragedy, it all changed in my mind.  I became terrified that I would die in a plane crash. A big Boeing or a small Cessna or one of the sizes in between.  They are all the same in my mind.

99% of the time, I'm ok when preparing for a flight.  I try not to think about it, I utter my usual litany of prayers that I can recite like a robot and by the grace of God things turn out fine.  I sit during the security briefing trying to memorize the safety booklet, I remember where the exits are and try to come up with a plan to drag Mike and myself out of the plane if needed.  I force myself to remember to stay calm and think, if anything happens, instead of giving in to panic and freezing.  I wear comfy shoes, I wear clothes made of natural fibers like cotton.

Any noises made or turbulence sends my heart spinning until I feel the aircraft stabilize again.  I look at my watch a million times as if it will make the hands move faster.  If I'm exhausted I cannot sleep because what if something happens and I'm not coherent enough to make a life saving decision?  I can't get comfy in the seats, who can really?, but I can't relax. I prefer to read horror novels by Stephen King and HP Lovecraft et al because those are stories, they can't get me.

Do understand, I'm not scared of the act of flying, but the act of crashing and burning or vaporizing in the ocean.  This is why I cannot watch shows like Mayday on The Discovery Channel.  As a rule, if any movies or TV shows are set on a plane, I don't watch.  Except maybe Snakes on a Plane or AirForce One cuz Samuel L. Jackson and Harrison Ford are badass enough that I'd breathe easier if they were on a plane with me.

We are going on a plane very soon and to say I'm slowly losing my mind is an understatement.

It seems once I turned 30 I crossed some sort of barrier in my mind and now I'm paranoid of everything that brings me closer to death.  I'm scared of losing people and pets close to me, most of all myself.

Over the past few days we've heard of the troubles with SouthWest Airlines and I'm glad there were no injuries and that the airline is taking steps to correct the problems.  This does nothing to help alleviate my fears.

Sometimes I sit and say to myself that airline travel is one of the safest methods available.  There are so many flights each day around the world and days go by with no issues.  And I slowly calm down.  Then something jars me back to the fear, I won't cite examples lest they run through my mind, and I'm back to square 1 again.

I'm going to think positively and we'll get through it, some way, some how.

Don't even have the time of day...

About 4 years ago, (come October), we honeymooned at Walt Disney World. One of the things I wanted and ended up buying was a Mickey Mouse watch. I wore it until May of this year when I lost it on vacation somewhere between deplaning and the hotel room, where I discovered it was gone. Long story short, I woke up to use the bathroom, had an itch on my wrist and realized, quite sleepily, my watch was gone! Now what would I use to watch the minutes slowly tick away on the flight home as I become increasingly antsy I'm sitting on a plan and I could die a horrible death if the plane were to crash.... *deep breath, deep breath* where are the exits again?

The remainder of the vacation I wandered around clueless of the time since there were no clocks around except in the stateroom on the Disney Wonder, (yes, we're Disney nerds, more on this later).

Today, I came home with my new watch (!!!). I've had my eye on this since May, but didn't get around to purchasing it til today. I wasn't planning to, but the jewelry store had a sale and Mike poked me into getting it. (Yes it was his fault, tee hee!)